Monday, August 20, 2018

Sociopaths are Among Us - We Might Be Dating 'em; or, married to 'em!

In the March 31, 2017 blog Sociopaths are Among Us it was stated that sociopaths have always been a fixture in our culture.  Additionally, it was presented that this population has a place and often a needed for our societal functioning. What should be discussed more is the person who finds themselves in union with the sociopath.  Whether romantically or coupled. Before we touch on this topic of marital relationships, or unions, with sociopaths, it might serve us to revisit NPR’s Inside the Mind of a Sociopath from several years ago.

When discussing societal functioning romance and marriage is not intended to be included as a positive.  The relationship with the sociopath as stated in the previous blog is dauntingly toxic to the spirit and overall emotional health of an individual.  Thus, if one is unaware that they have some relational union or is symbolically ...
married to the sociopath that ignorance could place you in a path of psychic destruction. There are indicators or symptomomogies of a sociopath. These general traits of a sociopath are as telling as to what one’s tolerance might be in a long term relationship or marriage.

Of these sociopathic traits many at times (and especially initially in the courting period) might appear as seductive, charming, adverenturesome.  However, over time, the very traits that were James Deanish Rebel-Without-a-Cause in the beginning might just be harmful to you. A lack of a moral compass might work for the sociopath but not for a couple; a lack of recognizing others emotions is not just narcissism at its core; but, an empty feeling for the non sociopath when needing emotional support during life stressors.  A sociopath will not be able to give you this support unless mechanically manufactured. A lack of ability to feel remorse places the partner in a consistent of vulnerability because at any given moment ties could be cut. A lack of sensitivity and lack of empathy is common for the sociopath. Callous words and actions are easily given without edit destroying and annihilating the non sociopath’s esteem.  Ever wonder how a partner or parent of the cute perfect kids can kill their loved ones? Or how that boyfriend kills his gorgeous attractive successful girlfriend on vacation? It is called an emotional detachment. For many of us an emotional connection become a part of the sex experience with your mate. For the sociopath sex is a physical need or a recreational positive. That can be fulfilled from anyone.  Thus, a spouse is disposable or replaceable. Those moments of intimacy or bonding are non existent for the sociopath. Thus, neuronal and behavioral indicators reveal that emotional bonding works as a negative for many sociopaths. A lack of interest and ongoing boredom causes for perceived laziness; however, this erroneous conclusion of laziness is in fact your partner being psychically divorced before you can understand what is happening.

Creepy blurred photo of a person's face and a furry hood

The challenge of dating or being in a committed relationship with a sociopath, if one is committed to the relationship is identifying your limits and your boundaries and your tolerance levels.  Toxicity is always a sensitive discussion regarding relationships. If the sociopath is offering positives in your life the an awareness of the challenges and managing the deficits could be a significant benefit to managing your affairs.
Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash
Photo by Ehimetalor Unuabona on Unsplash

Read more about Dr. Strayhorn's practice and philosophy...

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