Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Generational Wounds and Systemic Damage within the Family

Each Family Member Has Their Own Vignette. What Do They Do When Each Narrative is True?

As a marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, I am supposed to have the skills to work with individuals, families and couples.  That is a given, we get it. What is often misunderstood, and not fully recognized, is how one’s family plays an integral part in how we relate to the world, co-workers, business partners, romantic partners, marriages, children, friends and every social relationship in the lives we live.

Maria Hinojosa’s Latino USA reporting and conversations with the Quevedos family gives insight into past emotional wounds and how sensitive life experiences often shape our present and future engagement with other people.  Damage imposed upon us in our youth often reveal ...
generational damages which ultimately awaken present day conflict into meaning.

Several years ago during a family session I witnessed how a family saw events differently.  One event, different narratives. One event, different truths. One event, different behaviors.  One event, different accounts. Six experiences with each vignette having a varied outcome.

It is often difficult to accept multiple truths and multiple facts. Often in family narratives we fail to understand and honor the feelings of the other party.  On another past occasion two siblings reported the same accounts of a dark horrific childhood.  Despite agreements of specific lived experiences, the siblings expectations of one another, of life, of the world, and of social responsibility were vastly different.   Sometimes secrets are best kept secret. Sometimes secrets are best exposed. Are family ills at their best unsurfaced?

I encourage a listen to the above mentioned KPCC’s Latino USA narrative by Maria Hinojosa about the Quevedos family and their journey into the future as they work through unknowns that reveal discomforts for some and comforts for others.  

Photo by Cristofer Jeschke on Unsplash
Photo by Josh Hild on Unsplash

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