Saturday, June 30, 2018

Of a Certain Age and Dating: 40 and after the divorce; 50 and suddenly single or never married?

Should we start by watching this cute video and by questioning What Happens to Your Brain When You Fall in Love?  Falling in love is like cocaine?  Wow!
Single.  Friday night and you either have found yourself to be recently uncoupled, have been single for a while and said where has the time gone, or perhaps you are thinking to explore the ykes-eek-get-out-there dating world.  Or, perhaps, so deep in the cave you have not even gotten to the point where you can even think about licking your wounds. And, what about the “How-can-I-even-think-about-dating-when-I-am-parenting-on-a-Friday-Night”? Hence the final blow, has mislabeled misunderstood Incel become
a familiar that is comfortable?
Just the fact that you are open or thinking about dating is a positive in that your neurons within your brain are wrestling with the idea of possibilities.  The possibilities of joining with others in a social construct of mental and possibly physical intimacies creates positives in Self growth. There are countless myths and misperceptions to dating at certain ages and stages in our lives.  I would acknowledge the difficulties of dating at any age. Yet, dating after 40, or during and after middle age presents its own dynamics and complexed myths.
With the dating of a certain age comes excitement.  Yet with this personal adventure there are challenges and social events that blend into mental health.  Is dating stressful and should it be avoidable in some life cycle experiences? Are there situationals where it is best not to date?
As a therapist in Los Angeles I have found many of my clients facing challenges regarding the pre-courtship stage.  The dilemma, pressure, or pros and cons of having sex on the first date. As a male when is being extraordinarily good looking a problem in dating or in life?  How to use apps for dates and non-sexual hookups? When to disclose one’s STI history? Is non-disclosure of personal information and discretion off putting in today’s American culture? Is it creepy to date solely for the purpose of relationship hunting?  How can I date while in my marriage and how would that look? How do I date with children? The list of new rules and questions are endless. And, often, unanswered. Below are links to start the conversation of dating:

Photo by Matthieu Huang on Unsplash
Photo by Paola Aguilar on Unsplash

Read more about Dr. Strayhorn's practice and philosophy...

1 comment:

  1. It's great when you can share your ideas and thoughts about it. I was glad to read this article, you perfectly described everything, it's true) Some couples tell that every year of life together it is more and more difficult to find a common language. Recently, videochat replaced almost everything for me! I can communicate with girls and this can go on all day long, it's like a way to distract from the problems so and meet really "the only one." I like when a girl is intelligent and has the same values ​as me among the spheres of our life, and there are long-awaited communication, discussions and even love! God blessed you and your love!