Saturday, February 10, 2018

Next Wednesday, February 14th, Valentines Day a Romance Day or Overrated?

Brown Heart Shaped Hanging Decor

Valentine's Day becomes tricky.  If you are single and if you do something to acknowledge romance it might be taken that you are ready for an engagement; or, dare I say it, marriage.  A disaster if you are not moving in that direction.  When all you wanted was just a little romance in the moment to honor Cupid and Aphrodite.  In this scenario,
your niceness becomes a negative.  If you minimize the Valentine's Day holiday to avoid complexity with a dating partner, you might be perceived as insensitive.  Again, a potential disaster.  If married and in a difficult period in the relationship a celebration might backfire and seemed forced and fake.

How does one solve potential tension for the romantic holiday?  Communication.  If you communicate well with your partner then you might not ever need the Southern California, Los Angeles Valentine's Day events list as you can figure out how to manage the day with little effort.  But if things are tense or awkward with your partner it might serve you to communicate directly and specifically about having plans (or not having plans) for the holiday.  Tell you partner that you wanted to do something for Valentine's Day and ask if they are on board with doing something.  Ask them what they would like to do and try to create a mutually agreed upon positive event.  If your partner is indecisive and the planning decisions fall on you give your partner three choices to choose from, so that they are included in the process.  If you are in a tense relationship set a goal to compromise with the event, and make it positive.  If you just don't want to spend time with your partner for the holiday being direct and verbalizing that you have commitments is ultimately thoughtful and better and having them assume or guess.  If expressed mindfully, you are being respectful.  As a therapist and marriage counselor in Los Angeles I often see couples avoid the celebration of the holiday.
Mindful and respectful are also a part of the discussion with divorced couples.  Who says you can not have Valentine's Day lunch with your ex.  What a respectful way to honor your relationship.  Set aside what went wrong and acknowledge the good and the future positives you will have separately.  Many people receive many positives from their partners.

Whether business contacts, friendships, helping get through school, beautiful children, appreciation for new activities or hobbies, and more.  Be thankful and acknowledge.  The beauty of the holiday is it being about love; however, Valentine's Day is for divorced couples as well.  So, however you spend Valentine's Day romance had many meanings.  And that could include reflection and solitude with a binge session on Netflex home alone watching ....

61 Valentine's Day Quotes (which is your favorite?).
Read more about Dr. Strayhorn's practice and philosophy...